Media Randomness

New York magazine asks, "Who Will Be the next MIA?"

Utne Reader calms us all down by assuring us that, "Wal-Mart will never take over the world."

Postcards from Yo Momma posts something I would not be surprised to see in my email box. My mom is smart enough to know they probably are the same person, but humble enough to ask one of us to be sure.

Pride

It's Wednesday; I need some humor

Stress Dreams

This morning I dreamt I was at the airport before my trip. I was in a small office with a guy who had to fill out some form for me. I got my boarding pass and had to run around trying to find my gate on all the little TV screens. Finally I just looked on my boarding pass and found I had to be in Terminal C.

I was concerned that I would be late, but I had to make a stop first. I went into a room that looked like a dentist's office and don't remember anything until I woke up. Apparently I'd had gastric bypass surgery right before getting on the plane. I was annoyed that I wouldn't be able to eat much in Europe. But somehow it was okay that I'd just had abdominal surgery and was going to get on a plane and then run around Germany and Prague! I was concerned I had not booked my last night in a hotel, though. As I got dressed, I checked out the scar, which was just a faint red line that ran from my throat to my stomach.

Fender Bender

Taken at 9th and Marquette

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I'm the One That I Want

22. I'm the One That I Want by Margaret Cho

A book about her painful childhood, drug use, bad romances, sucky career problems, body image issues and final descent into alcoholism. But it is really funny.

December 23

Merry Christmas Adam*

*because Adam comes before Eve

Yard Salad

This must be at one of those houses by the marina
Originally uploaded by The Real Devil Doll

This pic reminds me of a time when I was about 5 or 6. Two of the stranger families in our apartment building teamed up and sold their unwanted stuff in the yard. Their sign read "Yard Sald", and to this day my family calls all garage/rummage/yard sales "Yard Salads"

Juvenile

I do this all the time: xkcd

I need, I want, I should

Google your name in quotes and add another word. It's a great meme.

• "In lieu of any other blood relations who can provide the necessary environment that Ms. Hansen needs, an alternate solution is clearly. in order." From some Star Trek fanfic, in reference to Seven of Nine, whose real name is Annika Hansen.
• "Sarah H. needs volunteers to help her minister to the elderly"
• "Sarah Needs A Cold Shower, Self-Esteem" Well, doesn't everybody?
• "Sarah Needs Your Manly Vote"
• "Sarah Needs to Blog More"
• "Sarah needs to get her life back & establish herself as a person in charge!" I think it's the other way around, she is tired of being the adult.
• "Sarah should consider tax efficient savings accounts such as cash ISAs." zzz...
• "Sarah should be forced to come over, ... “Sarah should drop out of school and visit on Tuesdays!" no and NO
• "So Sarah should buy more vanilla." Absolutely, I agree
• "Yes Sarah, could be a professional food writer" No, she could not be a professional anything writer. Maybe an editor.
• "Sarah could feel dark energy streaming from it like light through broken clouds."
• "Sarah wants a later curfew and Emily wants a bra."
• "Sarah wants Lorem Ipsum on her headstone"
• "Sarah wants to be the first person on Mars" Not so much
• "Sarah wants the hustle and bustle of town life." Very true
• "Sarah had better steer clear of sharp knives and fatty foods for a while, or that house is going to need a second fireplace." Because fireplaces make houses safer?
  
• "Sarah had better be careful getting that close to a lightsaber."
• "I know she’s got a boyfriend, but your friend Sarah was wicked hot."
• "Sarah was first introduced to white people at age six."
• "Sarah can't keep her mind on the spoons." They aren't that interesting.
  
• "Sarah would receive mission objectives from her secret headquarters"
• "Sarah won't give me a turn on her scooter." See above, she is tired of being mature and has decided to indulge her infantile side.
  

Holiday hijinx

Why do geeks confuse Christmas and Halloween?

A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

(or 31 in base-8 equals 25 in base-10)

Malapropism

I'm reading some reviews of hotels in London and someone mentions "seasonal effective disorder", which sounds to me like the exact opposite of the condition where you get depressed from lack of sunlight.

Pun Intended

On the second episode of Studio 60 I saw the following pun:
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

So here is a list of puns that I have either heard or been reminded of recently:

A termite walks into a bar, sits down and asks, "Is the bar tender here?

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. -from punoftheday.com

A string walks into a bar and the bartender tells him to leave, "We don't serve strings here!" The string leaves and goes home. He ties himself into a knot and combs out his hair. Then he returns to the bar. "Aren't you that string from earlier?" asks the bartender angrily. He replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
The Far Side where the cannibals are eating the clown and one says, "Does this taste funny to you?"


See the comments for the answers to these groaners:

• Q: What is brown and sticky?
• Q: What is gold and makes you rich?
• Q: What is Mary Short for?

I'm not Lutheran, I'm not very social, and I don't provide any services

My home phone is one digit off of the number for Lutheran Social Services, and I get a ton of misdialed calls. I average ten calls a week that leave no message at all. Before I switched my outgoing message to advise people they have not reached LSS, people would leave messages with their personal information asking for a call back. The first was a woman who called to get her adopted son's family history, and recently I got a call letting me know that someone was now homeless and staying with the lady who was calling. The funniest one was last Friday, where a woman wants to let them know she has changed her address and she recites the address two times. It is the building next door to the first apartment my family lived in when we moved to St. Cloud. She even had the same apartment number.

PS: If it is a local number, I try to call to let them know they misdialed.

Quote of the Day to make you giggle

"Italian[s] I have known have found it completely appropriate to discuss how fat you've become and what you should do to fix it," via AskMeFi.

Want to see an awesome skullet?

One that has a braid in the back and big old mouth on the front?
Watch this Video (nsfw, swearing)

I really think

we should consider naming one of the newer planets either Affleck or Baldwin. Actually, any acting family name will do. Barrymore, Cusack, Arquette, Douglas or even Estevez/Sheen. In 200 years, we could send out an Estevez Rover to explore the surface.

Webtracks

City Pages' annual Best of edition has pixel art by Eboy, which I dig.

I found this quote on a coaster at a bar, but I like it anyway:
"We do not remember days. we remember moments." -Cesare Pavese
I also like this one: "If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears."

Ever been mistaken for an employee while shopping? I have and it is hilarious.

Myspace is not just for 14-21 year olds - it's for me too.

Trader Joe's is "coming soon" to Minnesota, before the end of May hopefully. I was 100% wrong about the location. I forgot all about Excelsior Boulevard. Could they have built any closer to Whole Foods?

Also, the new library downtown opens May 20th, or for $250 (or more!!) you can attend the benefit on the night of the 19th. This includes a progressive dinner, and I really need to attend something like that.

Random

Now this is a Funny Picture.

I got cable installed yesterday, along with a DVR and 6 months of HBO and Showtime. I hope to catch Love Actually this month, since it's a holiday movie.

My last Drawing class was on Monday, and I think I did pretty well. Next up is Environmental History and Modernism (a literature class). Maybe I should decide on a major soon. I will only have 2 generals left after those two classes.

I am trying to get 'organized' while I have some time off of school and a small amount of time off of work. What that means, I am not really sure... some weird combination of FlyLady, GTD and my own systems, I guess.

South Park

Make yourself as a South Park Character:
http://www.planearium2.de/flash/spstudio.html

Here I am, so next time you see me giving you a dirty look on the bus, say hello and tell me how much you love my blog.

murse = the best word I've come across to describe the bags that men carry that are too small to be called bags

Warning:

Overheating may cause loss of filling!

Things like Improv Everywhere make me want to live in New York City. Read the MP3 project, it sounds like a lot of fun.

I'm 56% freak, how about you?

Time for some gay jokes from the past few months

Leno - New photos from NASA’s Cassini spacecraft reveal that Saturn’s rings are pink and grey. Scientist say this could be the first all gay planet.

Letterman - Remember when Saddam was found in a monkey hole a few months ago? He’s now being held in custody. Here’s how he spends his time. He writes poetry, he eats muffins, he water colors, and he does gardening – I think he’s had a queer makeover.

hee hee hee hee hee

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU

(But he's not touching himself, like he does when he watches your mom.)

courtesy of Asymmetric.net