Terra Nomad

Every day is like survival. You're my lover, not my rival.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Carolyn Hax

I used to read Ann Landers all the time, but then I found Carolyn Hax. She writes for the Washington Post and is syndicated all over the country. Her column is called Tell Me About It and used to be subtitled Advice for the Under-30 Crowd, but she's lost that part. She also hosts a weekly chat at noon Eastern on washingtonpost.com. I like the advice she gives, here are some samples:

It's called "coping." If it were fun, it would be called "fun."

If you can't stop judging these people enough to put your whole heart into loving them, then leave. I mean it.

Trust and respect just aren't that complicated: Find someone who treats you as well as he treats himself, and then show the same kindness to him. Ta-da. Both of you will make mistakes, but that's okay, as long as they're infrequent, unintended and remedied quickly, with care.

Trust your ego to withstand someone who sees herself as your equal.

No healthy relationship ever dies of an open debate.

Be who you are. If you feel the need to change anything, look for ways to have more fun. That way you'll avoid any disastrous attempts at becoming someone you're not, and you might actually have more fun--which is a great way to get your mind off whatever it is you think you're supposed to have but don't.

Something to look for to tip your decision toward anything new and unknown is the sense that there might be something more rewarding out there than what you have now.

Ask yourself these questions every time you catch yourself comparing your life with others': Who are you; what do you want; is that fair to expect? And are you strong enough not to look back?

We're all afraid of something, and we all run the risk of meeting someone who knows how to prey on that fear. It's not an excuse not to try.

Pretty wise, huh? She gets a lot of "I'm unhappy and I don't know why" letters and she does a really good job of answering them, as well as telling the ones that need it to seek therapy. Check her out, you'll be glad you did.

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